Happiness Within

People aren’t meant to be all alone in this world.
No matter how introvert a person is, no matter how hard as rock a heart of a person
is and no matter how we try to put ourselves in a box, there will always be somebody
who will shake your world.

After almost 15min-4 kilometer jog last night, coach and I rested for a while, did some muscle stretching and abs workout for 30 mins. There was my favorite part where we lied down on the grass and done nothing but savor the smell of earth. At that moment, I felt free, blessed and love. I lied on my stomach, opened my arms wide, touched the cool green grasses around and relaxed for a moment. As I turned my head to the left, I saw coach-buddy doing the same. This man..my present man..

happiness-is-an-inside-job

It is frightening being in love.

And that they say…love is blind.

Ironically, many people are blind for love.
Will it make sense if we say that being blind is ok as long as you feel the love? You feel happy inside? You feel complete inside?
This what makes everybody’s existence in this world more significant.
We cannot bring to death any material things that the world offers except the love we have  in our hearts.How we used it and how we’ve shared it?

J’taime.

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Be Free!

It’s month of October!
Which means winter season is fast approaching!
I felt sorry for those who have bone problems.
I mean those with bone sensitivities to cold environment.

On this month also, I loose one tooth…which was very sensitive to cold drinks also :):)
Yes,you’ve read it right.
It was finally extracted this morning.

For several months, I suffered and chained from on and off pain,
but now I affirm that I’m totally free!
I finally decided to let it go…my right first molar tooth.
It was no longer functional or restorable as per dentist’s assessment.
And felt sorry for myself that I was too late to go for consultation.
To be honest, I was just really afraid to see needles for injection and big forceps.
I think, that answers the question to every job interview ” what is your greatest weakness”.whew!
But today, I felt like I am superwoman!

As I lied down, closed my eyes and opened my mouth for the procedure, a sudden realization came to my mind.
From now on, I free myself from pain.
This toothache that I thought was relieved by drinking painkiller medicines which was true though, gave me false hope.
I thought,it will just be gone one day.
I thought, the pain was just normal.
Until my body get used to it.
Until unknowingly, every part of it was already damaged….totally damaged.

I have struggled from so much pain, guilts, regrets, resentments, sadness and other emotions that kept me in the past as I tried to step forward.
But with God’s providence, He let me went through it.
I believe there is always one day, He will totally extract those pains inside and let me savor the freedom.
Freedom from feeling like a victim, freedom from regrets, freedom from holding grudges, freedom from anger…

It is always never too late…
Be Free!

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My thoughts, my reality

Do you believe that whatever our thought projects it happens?

Well then, I personally believe on this.

There were instances in my life when something happened on me and I just realized that I’ve thought of this before!
I am one of those believers in the power of the universe.

D- ream

I think, no person in this world has ever forgotten to dream at least once in their lives. Every dream we make has something to do with what we want in the future.
That’s why it is very crucial to project whatever we put in our minds.
I remember once,I was just so naive of how a hotel looks like? I thought the people going inside were only for the rich ones.
Every time I passed by that particular 5-star hotel in the city. I told myself that one day, I’ll be stepping my feet in that hotel. When and how? I don’t know.
After a while, an unexpected event organized by the company I worked with was held in that hotel and I was one of the participants.
In an instant, I remember that I’ve wished for this 3 years ago!

R-ecite

How do we feel when we think of something and pretended that as if our wish was granted right away? Excited? Happy? Flattered?
Then be it. Close your eyes and feel it. Say it.
It was my dream to try to at least have the experience of working abroad. When and how? I don’t know.
Then one day, here came a friend who brought me to this place in an unexpected circumstance. Now here I am, already a 2 year expat.

E-xaggerate

Just fresh from the oven.
After so much struggles of moving on from heartbreak which was almost 1 year had passed, I’ve diverted my attention to fitness by having a 30min to 1 hour jog in the baywalk at least 5 times a day. Everytime I see couples jogging around together, holding each other’s hands, laughing together, supporting each other’s fitness work-outs, I just bowed down my head and felt despair.
I got tired of seeing the same scenarios everyday.
Thanks to that desperation. It thought me how to get up.
Instead of self-pitying,I refreshed my mind and pulled myself back together.
I imagined and told myself that one day, I will have my partner too.
That one day, someone will hold my hand too, that we will lie down in that green grasses together in a silent night while staring at the stars and hearing only the pounding of our hearts. Voila!

A-ction

There is a saying, “every dream happens because there is a dreamer”.
Combined with faith and openness to possibilities, I know those experiences were just part of my life’s page. We wake up everyday like a new blank page that we need to write something on it for us to create a book full of stories inside.
Keep on trying to achieve it. Just keep going. Don’t just sit down. The dream we asked from the universe will never be in our hands without our cooperation.

M-ake more dreams

Our imagination is limitless. This is a free world.
We may be trap at times in some circumstances that we thought it was the end.
There were times in my life that I thought I cannot do more.
That I thought, I was helpless and that I was hopeless.
But as I wake up each day, I realized that there is always future waiting ahead.
Everyday is a chance to get up,catch those dreams and make it real!

God bless us all! May our dreams come true.

By God’s grace and the power of my dream, I can start my Masteral schooling next year.(wink)

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The Shoes

I bought this shoes last year around month of May.
It’s original price was 95QR that dropped to 35QR for the store’s 3day sale as part of Ramadan promotion here in Qatar. This is a season where customers take the opportunity of buying discounted goods.
And guess what? I found this in the kids section about 5.5ft size…
Yes, that is the actually size of my feet.
You know the advantage of having medium size foot?
Tsk! It’s really economical.

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It’s not only that you were my shoes…
…it’s about your value.
You’ve become part of my ups and downs figuratively and literally
Thank you for taking care of my feet
You showed me direction when I was confused which way to go..
You gave me strenght in times of rise and fall..
You motivated me to take the goal of running from 3k to 10km
You were my shield from rocks, water and sandstorms.
You’ve been my best friend for a year.
A year where we created memories.
But now, it’s about time to let you go.
Although there’s a new one to replace you.
I am glad to say I was so blessed I had you.
You’ve always been part of me..
Been always part of my journey..

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Overcoming Jealousy

jealousy-best-quotes-saying-true-love

It is romantic to hear that someone is afraid of loosing you. I became jealous when I thought that  someone can make him happier than I did. That someone is better than me. That someone can take him away from me anytime, anywhere. Jealousy  is a sickness that needs healing. It cannot be done overnight. It takes time and effort. Let me share to you personally how I helped myself overcome this thoughts and feelings of insecurity.

1. Keep yourself occupied

If possible, don’t allow any single second to enter jealous scenes play on your mind or else it will affect whatever you are doing. There was a time when I burst into tears unknowingly while I was on my table in the office. Just imagine how critical it was to my accounting job doing calculations and reports on figures?. Or maybe you are in the kitchen cooking. Imagine how dangerous it is? Instead of isolating, crying in the corner and pitying yourself, get up! Go out and do physical exercises like jogging or simply walking. Believe me, it really works.

2. Don’t compare yourself to others
Focus on your own strength. I remember when I confronted my ex about him having text mate, he told me why would I be insecure? He will and will always choose me among other girls because I already possess all the characteristics that he was looking for. That I am a college graduate, with a very good job, and good looking..etc. Well I guess, I should have thanked him for reminding me of my value despite the failed relationship that we had . It is very true that life is unfair. Why others are good-looking and others not, others are intelligent in nature while others not. We were created and gave meaning to this world with our individual uniqueness.

3. Better not to know.
– Limit yourself from monitoring/sneaking around on your partners phone or any social media accounts. Respect each other’s privacy or else it will bring negative impact to your partner that as if you are controlling his life. Remember we have our own lives. He or she is not a robot. One of my condition in a relationship was being open to each other in any aspect. I want him to be open to me who his friends were, where was he going, what was he doing etc. We both should know each other’s passwords in any social media accounts that we had. I once believed that being open to each other builds trust. But now I realized that sometimes we also need this “secrecy”. In order to protect a healthy relationship and in order to protect each other. The more you know, the more the peace of mind will be deprived from you.

4. Control your emotion
How I wished it was included in our school curriculum about controlling emotion.
I panicked whenever I saw him in a picture with another woman or even heard him conversing on a phone with a woman on the other line. What is this? Paranoia?
Sounds crazy right? But mind you, it really happens anywhere and to anyone.
A friend told me once, ” pain is only in the mind”. The more we think the word “pain”, the more it will be manifested to us. I was depressed for couple of months after the broke up. I allowed myself to be devoured by negative emotions. Until I realized that it was already illogical! It already affected my present and future.
Divert your attention on valuable things around instead of focusing on pain, regrets and grudges of the past.

5. Believe in the faith.
All of us have this sanctuary in time of trouble. We are just human with limitations. Whatever beliefs, religions or faith we have, there is always time to rest and surrender. Trust Him Who is in control of everything in this world.
Surrender to what it is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be.

 

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War

Sometimes, I pretended to just close my eyes not to see heartbreaking news being aired, cover my ears not to hear the noise of the world and harden my heart not to be affected by so much social issues. But no, I am part of the universe.

My patriotism was awakened this morning by the CNN interview to our president #Rodrigo Duterte regarding issues on what the Philippine country is facing today, one of which is the War on Drugs.

I  was once a victim of domestic violence because of drug related case. I fought and I stood. I reported it to the authorities but justice is blind and deaf. I know, victims like me can understand and can relate to this issue. How many more victims out there are brave enough to tell their stories if they knew that nothing is going to change the situation? If they knew that it will endanger their life? If they knew that people involved are their family members, friends or colleagues?

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It is good now that we have the public servant who has the guts to face this pandemic crisis of drugs that is happening in our country.

I am not an expert on analyzing political and social issues. But as an individual, I can’t help it to ask why do some people don’t value life? There is no difference between the ongoing War on Drugs in the Philippines and the ongoing war that is happening in some countries. They both affect lives. They both break families. They both destroy futures.

May God Bless the world with peace, love and wisdom.

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Keep going..

Life can be tiring yet inspiring.

It is reality that when we were in a smooth sailing, and when all of a sudden a strong wind blows the tendency for us is to panic. We tend to loose control on the boat. A friend who was once a successful football player, an image of a tough man physically, mentally, spiritually and financially got stranded in the middle of the smoothness of his journey. Just like a flash of lightning, all those pillars of his strength were all down.

Sometimes,it is so hard to understand the twist of life. But the everyday struggles and successes give us a lesson to learn.
We felt tired, drained, and exhausted..
No matter how hard we tried to analyze the situation, the solution seems unclear.

images

But life must continue to sail.
It should never stop in the middle of nowhere.
Pull the rope and continue the journey. Recharge and reroute.
It may not be the exact road you were taking but there’s always a way heading to your direction. Don’t give up!
The every morning wake up means hope.
The every breath we take means there’s alyways solution.
And every step we walk means keep going
We just have to trust and believe in our capacities.
Above all, have faith in the One who provided everything in this world.

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