A Place called Home

A home.

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Away from disneyland and beauty parlors

This place has so much memories of me.
From childhood, to teenage.
A place where I and siblings used to run after snakes, frogs,dogs, ducks and even rats.
A place where free range animals roamed around and play..


Can you imagine this paradise looks like?
This is the place where my hopes and dreams began.
A place where my family resides.

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plant and you will reap

A place of more laughter than tears.
A place of chirping birds, a stunning blue sky and invigorating breeze coming from the mountains and ricefields.

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beauty in wilderness

A place where you can hear crickets and see fireflies at night.
A place where you can see stars shining bright.
A place where you neither need an aircondition nor eletric fan

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This is an AirConed Balcony- Air Continues Balcony

You don’t even need an umbrella when the rains pours..
Just a piece of Banana leaf will do..

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When you don’t have resources, you become resourceful

A place for the farmer.
Perfect place for the dreamer.

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A Place for the farmer, perfect place for the dreamer

I took this picture 3 years ago before I left that place and landed in this desert land.
Whoaaa! Why Am I having this “daydream” in the middle of this sleepy afternoon?
I admit, I think I just miss this place so much…my heart, my home…The #Philippines.

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How Tired is too tired

How tired is too tired?

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Today is the last day for the month of April.
I didn’t even remember how the month of April started whew!
That’s how preoccupied my mind and schedules were.

I would love to put something inspiring message here today.
But couldn’t even grasp the write words to say…just I’m tired.

I may be tired now but one thing is for sure.
That there will always be tomorrow..
That there is always something new coming..
That there is always space for resting..
That as long as the world continuously revolving around me..
There’s always a reason to stand up and keep going..
No matter what, no matter where..

Keep safe!

Mhuagzz..!

 

 

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Dear Son

How have you been? It’s been three years since I left you. I know you are a big boy now but for me, you are still my baby who used to look for me everytime I was out of your sight. My tongue was muted and my heart was pinched when I phoned you one time and asked me “who are you?”. Your uncle even told me that you are now curious how I look liked?  I am sure, your memories of me when you were just five years old were very limited and uncleared. You are now 8 years old. Can we blame it to the absence of  internet access  in your place? I can neither see how tall nor how handsome  you are now. Anyway, despite of technology barrier, we are still so blessed that Mama and Papa Ulang (grandparents) are there for you on my behalf. I want you to believe and obey them as I and your uncles did when were just kid like you. I heard you will be bagging academic awards again for this school year! I am so proud of you! You may not understand me at this moment but I believe and hope that you can in the future.  The words “I love you” may not suffice the times I am away from you but I want you to know that I am always here for you.

I want to give you some advice that I hope will be very useful  in your life’s journey. I am not demanding you to follow this or that because I know, you will discover it one day on your own.

1. Bring out the best in you.
When you were just in my womb, I prayed to God to take care of you, to make you His good follower. Be it whatever His plans for you. I heard you were excelling academically. I am so proud of you son! I am happy that you are making every single moment of your life worthwhile. Start to dream big! Don’t allow yourself be trapped in a four cornered wall full of what if’s and but’s. Your mama was once drowned by timidity that deprived her to do some things she dreamed off. You know very well the life that we have in the province, lack of financial support and contented with the life of at least eating three times a day. Now, don’t worry anymore because I am is here. I will support you to the best I can whenever you needed me, financially and morally. Be the best version of yourself.

2. Don’t be a prisoner of your fear
I have been a prisoner of many fears in life. Fear of heights, fear to be ignored, fear of embarrassment and the fear to fail. It took decades of realizations and bitter-sweet experiences before I overcome it. Did you know that you have the blood of both being uragon (me) and waray (your Papa) (from suburb race with valor and brave blooded personality). Each of us has our own fears but be bold enough to face it because believe me fear is only in the mind.

3. It’s ok to rest when tired.
We deal everyday with so much stresses, challenges and trials. It is ok to just sometimes sit down whole day and think nothing but relax when your body and soul needed it. I know, there will be storms along the road that will make you think like giving up. When your father and I broke up, I thought it was the end of the world. I didn’t want to even move my feet forward. I refused hearing updates about him. I resented too much. When you feel despair, let it out.

4. Don’t care what people say
There will always be nosy people around wherever you go. Don’t be intimidated by their nosiness. Be very careful because this may lure you to be one of them. They may either boost your fighting spirit or drag your morale down. They may hurt your ego many times but you have to challenge yourself. In the end, you will thank them for making you more stronger. What you think of yourself is much more important than what other think of you.

5. Be ready which road to travel
Enjoy first your childhood. Play under the rain, swim in the river, go climb trees, stamp your feet on the mud, go biking and explore your hobbies. There is no promise that life is easy. Hence,nobody will take the journey for you. Life is an adventure. You never know where it will lead you. How we make our life is a choice. We are free to choose. But nobody is free from the consequences of whatever choice we made. So when you do cutting classes, be ready for it’s consequences 🙂

8. Be grateful
Appreciate even the smallest thing that happens to you. When Mama,Papa Ulang give you household chores like washing of dishes, feeding our pet dogs, going to store, looking for firewoods, and even pulling their itchy white hairs from their heads, be grateful because they are just teaching and training you about responsibility, hard work and confidence. When teacher gives you task or homework to do, be thankful because she is molding your logical thinking and time management skills. Have a heart of gratitude because it attracts more blessings and goodness.

9. Love and trust yourself
I don’t mean not to love and trust others. In this world, life is being moved by connections, networks, friends, relatives and family. There will be times when you will be broke but don’t ever hold grudges in your heart.

10. Watch your attitude
I heard you had a fight with your playmate that ended to spanking.
Life has so much dramas, provocations,frustrations, successes. The question is how will you handle it? If you know it was your fault, be humble enough to admit and say sorry. Assess yourself, forgive yourself, stay calm and fight your own rage. There’s no other enemy who can defeat us but our very own self. Please don’t be a cause of any trouble. When Mama and Papa Ulang scolded you for some reasons, assess your self, say sorry and try not to do the same mistake again.

11. Save
I heard that you are saving your little amount of money so you can buy computer or iPhone for games. That’s very good. Although, I can easily buy you those stuffs if you wish to. But I want you to realize the value of a hard-earned money. Discipline yourself in spending. Not everything in this world are given free. You have to sweat and work hard first before you can harvest.

12. Have faith
Never loose your faith in God. For He is the only one who will never leave you when you feel neglected, discouraged, desserted and abandoned. It is very important to make your connection with Him strong and intact because it will always He who will stay with you when everybody in this world disappear.

 

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8 Ways To Nurture Relationship With Our Partner

Hmm, it’s a heart month as folks say.
Each of us has our own definition of what love is depending on how we experienced it.
I am not a love guru, but I want to share to you some ways to nurture the love that we have for our partner based on my experience. It may not be applicable to others, but for some maybe.

1. GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER EVERYDAY

Feeling the same way both of you felt during your first meeting, butterflies in stomach, pounding of hearts, and even sweating of hands may sound absurd, but those “tweetum moments” should always reignite everytime you see each other. A simple questions how are you? how was your day? would break the ice. In that way, there will always be something new or interesting in your conversation. Have fun with your partner.

2. COMMUNICATION MATTERS
The big challenge happens specially in times of arguments. Learn to listen. As much as possible, never end the day with a heavy heart. My partner and I agreed that if in case we were both angry, not in mood or whatsoever, one should keep the mouth shut and discuss what was the matter once the tension subsided, say the word sorry regardless of who really wronged. A simple hug after heated arguments will bring more intimacy in you, will develop not only verbal but emotional communication as well.

3. BE THE BEST BUDDIES
They say that a true friend say even the bad things to your face and never get tired of listening to your pointless dramas over and over again. During my physical exercise work out, having my partner as my lover and coach, we could unhesitantly say “wait, I’m going to fart!” or “did you brush your teeth?..your breath smells eeerr..!you’re getting fat!”,or did you shower today? I can smell something..hmm”…! Building and maintaining friendship is very vital. In the end, it will be the two of you who will remind each other that there’s always someone in front, behind and beside you..that you can lean on…that you are not alone.

4. ALWAYS MAKE THE EFFORT

By simply sending him emoticons of hugs and kisses, smileys, simple words like good day, take care! I like your get up today! Ooh! you look like Cristiano Ronaldo! I love your new haircut! Thank you for walking with me home, for cooking food for me, for fetching me from work.! Those are simple gestures and compliments yet will surely make them feel loved and appreciated.

5.HAVE FUTURE PLANS BUT LIVE EACH MOMENT

My partner and I came from a different world, a different country, diversified backgrounds from family, friends believes, even religion. How do we settle? Our relationship is like a blank piece of paper. We write our life’s stories by putting our commitment and love into it. We make plans and both trust in God’s guidance. We just take our time and enjoy each other’s companion. Don’t rush things. We might miss every single moment you were with each other.

6. MOTIVATE EACH OTHER
Be proud of each others achievement and be open minded. We are still individuals who has our own likes and aspirations. Be his or her number one fan in the world.

7. ACCEPTANCE
We have our own stories before we met. I thought no man would ever accept and love me anymore me because of my past misfortunes. I already settled my mind to be a single mother forever. But God is good. He sent someone I never expected to be the one who could understand and so am I to him. Just be open and accept what was already given.We cannot undo the past. Everday is a new chapter for both of you.

8. TRUST YOUR PARTNER
Partnership means trust. Never ever doubt your partner. In some circumstances that we cannot avoid it, don’t be afraid to ask and discuss what bothered you. I was once devoured by my own timidity. A lesson that I had learned and overcome. Remember the law of attraction? What we think what we get. So focus on positiveness rather than doubt. Because doubting our partner means doubting our selfworth.

Happy Valentines Day to all!
May we be Blessed with love, and be loved.

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Living Grudge-Free

A Blessed New Year!

This is my first post for this year. I hope and pray for another new me. It is not about changing of who and what I am. It maybe about changing my perceptions about life, about it’s beauty and about it’s purpose.

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Just as I tried to distant myself from so much noise of facebook, I saw an invitation from a person of my past. I tried to assess myself if should I reconnect or not? Now, as I tried to read some of my posts here 2-3 years ago, I’ve realized that my life was filled with so much complains, sorrows, pains and grudges. It was terribly in turmoil.

Sometimes it feels like it is impossible to forgive. The hurt runs deep. You replay the offense over and over in your mind. You know you need to forgive but you just can’t. Forgiveness is really a process. Yeah, it takes time…until you healed, until you forget.

Going back to this friend, he is still the father of my son, a part of my past, and a lesson learned for keeps. We may have done wrong to each other but we still have our own lives now to continue. When I finally decided to click the “accept” as friend, there was this feeling of salvation, relief and joy in my heart. I felt a total freedom from anger, from worries, from grudges. There’s no more pain, no more regrets!

Moving on, there are plenty of reasons to move and look forward to. We only travel in this world once, so I’ll make sure to utilize it according to God’s plan…inshallah!

 

 

 

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Thankful Year!

There’s a saying “let go and let God”.

Another year had passed and thousands of countless blessings have been received and shared.
Let me share to you some realizations I have for this year that I think would also guide me in the next years to come.
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HEALTH IS WEALTH FOR PHYSICAL

I made up my mind to take seriously my diets and physical exercises this year because I knew I am not getting any younger and taking care of my health is good enough to invest with. I successfully cut my carbs intake specially rice. Believe it or not, I was able to totally give it up for almost a year! At first, it was a struggle since rice is really part of my life. Since childhood, my parents would always encourage us to eat rice because it gives us energy in whatever we do. Rice planting was our source of livelihood back then. I limited myself also from eating cereal, bread and pastas. Along with this discipline, I was able to associate myself in running and reach my first ever 20km run! From 54kg down to 48kg.!! Not bad!

EMOTIONAL STABILITY

Who Am I now? What am I now?
Well I guess, I will try to be honest in this area. I am still emotionally unstable. Wait! can i justify why?
I’ve read somewhere that a woman’s emotional intelligence and capacity for emphathy is not a weakness. It is a strength.
There were times that I cannot control my temper, crying for no reason and worrying too much. They say that every bad experience will happen again until such time you get the lesson of it. I can agree no more. Because we all know that life is full of surprises, good or bad, and so much lessons to learn from it. I am so glad and blessed that I can say I am a strong woman now and if I’m going to rate myself from 1-10 where 10 is the highest, well at least I guess rate myself as 8. Enough to remind myself that it’s already a milestone for me not to be too much emotionally weak because it would always drag me to nothing but disappointments.

SELF LOVE TO SHARE LOVE

It always comes to my mind that you cannot give, you cannot share and you cannot help others unless you have enough from yourself. We cannot energize others unless we are energetic ourselves. We cannot share words of wisdom to others unless we have enough experiences to relate to them. We cannot appreciate the worth of people that become part of our lives unless we learned to appreciate our self worth. We cannot give love unless we love ourselves. Sharing our life to others and with others is always an opportunity for us to realize the meaning of our existence in this world, building relationship. But remember that the most important person you can build a relationship with is none other than ourselves.

SAVE UNTIL YOU SAVED

Working abroad is a big move to start your dream come true. However, no matter how big the “buck” is, it still depends on how you save this hard-earned money that you have. I have a parents and a son to support with that is why I decided to work abroad. They are the main reason why I continuously trying to build my luck here. I am a single parent as they call it that way. Anyway, back to savings. For this year, it is still not enough for me to finish my contract in the company I worked with so I decided to renew it for another two years. It is reality that the first completion of contract of an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker or Filipino expat) is more on payments for the loans made during the application process plus the existing loans that we have left behind. So as for me, as I renewed my contract just last month (November), hopefully I can save more so I can give more…I can share more!

Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year to all!!
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I’ve made it!

I’ve made it!
Last night was awesome!
Yeah, I made my first ever 10k run (normal pacing/speed) in 1 hour.
How much more if I added speed on it? (wink!)
It was already a great accomplishment for a non-professional runner like me.

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I remember when I just started to try my luck on running sports.
My mind panic just having this thought of walking for at least 1kilometer. It was already too much!
I can’t do that!”

But since it was my will to engage my body to this activity, I still tried to pursue.
I started it with 1km walk-run, I continued to test my endurance to 3km, to 5km upto 10km now.

Thanks to coach Evan, who patiently trained, guided and motivated me so well.
Most of the time, I used to complain…my legs pain, I felt lazy today, I was not in mood..etc..etc..just to escape from training. But I realized that if I kept on listening to those complains of my body, I can not start even a single step.

Thanks God for the gift of wisdom, health and love.

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